Wednesday, June 28, 2017

He Who Watches

    
An adventure for characters of 1st to 3rd level

Crocodilopolis is famous as the home of the Shrine of Sobek the Crocodile God, “He Who Watches”. Thousands of pilgrims come to the city each year bearing costly gifts worth millions of drachmae to the shrine and its priests.

But now the sacred “Son of Sobek” has been found dead in his pen with mysterious internal wounds, and many pilgrims who perform the traditional ritual of sleeping or “incubating” in the shrine’s catacombs have disappeared.

He Who Watches is displeased.  

This could get very bad for business!

Ruinous Placements for Ladders

It took me a little more than a YEAR to get another opportunity to play D&D again.
Something unfortunate had happened in the meantime...

Back to May 2016 right after we played D&D. My friends who had never played before were surprised and pleased that they'd had such a good time.  They said they enjoyed digging around inside my skull (figuratively).  I enjoyed seeing their unique and beautiful brains interacting in a new context.

The next day, the Memorial Day holiday, I was feeling pretty happy.  Then, a dose of disaster struck.  My wife noticed really nasty oversize wasps with these two displacer-beast-tentacle-looking things trailing behind them infiltrating the house from the side porch.  My wife HATES any wasps, but especially these schmucks! I had to think of my 5-year-old kid vs. these hateful insects, too.  

So I grabbed a sticky wasp trap, grabbed the ladder, cursed quietly, put it on the slope of not very solid scree, cursed quietly, tried to hang the wasp trap near the roof gutters- where the wasps were seen coming in, cursed quietly, couldn't quite reach the gutters, cursed between my teeth, put one foot on the building- and then the ladder fell.  I fell. The ladder twisted with one foot still on it and the other foot launching off the house.  


Kind of looks Keith Haring-esque

I forget if the ladder fell on me a little bit, but I was really lucky to escape worse injury.  Some springy weed trees had broken my fall partially.  I'm glad I hadn't been a more anal retentive grounds-keeper and cut them down.

I was in pain.  I left the ladder tangled in the trees, picked myself up from the scree, limped with the help of a passing bicyclist to my front door, apologized for cursing in front of her halted convoy of bicycling kids, got my wife to drive me to the hospital with our kid in tow.  Multiple hours on a national holiday in the emergency room. Different tests and X-rays.  My kid went from bawling-concerned to bored.  I had purple bruises and scrapes all over my back but luckily not much damage under the skin to ribs and offal. I was fortunate my head escaped serious injury.  My foot was ground zero.  Broken toes.  Had to wear an immobilizing boot and move slowly.  Felt stupid.  Stupid, stupid, stupid!  Very annoyed with myself for this  preventable, lamentable execrable accident.  Haste makes hazardous.  Soooo lucky that this wasn't my driving foot!

So no more D&D that summer, garden turned to weeds, had to use spray cans with distance-shooting toxic foam vs. the wasps.  Fall 2016 was hard with changes with family and work.  
Spring 2017 I wrote a new adventure.  Getting myself together, getting my friends together for D&D and coordinating with their schedules was like herding cats.  But finally in JUNE 2017, it worked out...

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Raiding Pharmacies and Labs for Names









Here for your amusement is more material for name inspiration if people don’t want to steal obscure names from history, or from Ikea products: pharmaceutical names.  If you want to go for a knowing joke around the table, you can use well known ones.  But there are plenty of pharmaceuticals which are more obscure and whose names are blank canvases for DMs and players.

Cymbalta –  “One of the many caravans hauling spices from Minchetabish to the fortress city of Cymbalta was attacked by ghouls.”

Remeron – “The ancient port city of Remeron and its eponymous maritime empire have ruled the seas for centuries.”

Ativan – Could be a city, could be the name of a paladin.  A lot of these drug names could be the names of elves.

Celexa – An elf queen?  It also sounds like a Korean car: “Introducing the 1997 Kia Celexa hatchback with 35 mpg city, 38 mpg highway…”

Zyprexa – Haughty elf queen?  Street magician whose prestidigitation provides cover for her gang’s thievery?  Embattled kingdom which must never fall to the besieging goblinoids?  The name of the planet which controls 84% of the Andromeda Galaxy’s starship engine manufacturing interests?   

Latuda – Meh.  This seems deserve only a name next to a medium-sized circle on a map.  The North Central mid-states number 3 trans-shipper of plumbing supplies.

Naltrexone – THIS seems to have more schmirntz!  A streetwise con man?  An up-and-coming rough-and-ready republic ruled by a meritocratic merchant oligarchy?

Haldol – If you don’t think names like this are too well-known, or don’t feel this has serious and sad associations that shouldn’t be part of gaming, I suppose this could be the name of man-at-arms.  Most of these drug names deserve a moment to think about the associations for people at the table.  If you decide it won’t be a problem, go ahead and repurpose the names…

Invega – Sci-fi?  Planets need a lot of names.

Risperdal – Beautiful-sounding name for a kingdom, a city, a valley, a river, or a wizard.

Olanzapine – So many of these names, especially generics, sound like chemicals (which is what they are, anyway) so converting them into something else is like putting Bangkok Thai Deli into the former Burger King on University Avenue, with its specially-shaped roof.  Everyone refers to the restaurant as “the one that’s in the old Burger King- you can tell it when you see it.”  But I’m willing to try: “Pirates infest the waters of the Olanzapine Gulf,” or “This is Princess Olanzapine.”

Lunesta – My hat is off to the marketers who crafted this very poetic, positive-association-saturated name.  Eccentric dowager aunt?  The Faery Queen?  Walled city on the moon, reachable by voyaging through the aether on the backs of huge Lunar Moths?

Librium – Island city of Libertarian pirates and merchants?  Magical lighter-than-air metal from which angel-like wings can be fashioned?

Rivotril – If you ever need a name for a Thri-Keen NPC…

Serax – A fine name for a celebrity gladiator, a sorcerer, a centurion, a horse nomad chieftain or mountain-province warlord.

Atarax – Formidable Lawful champion, or, conversely, the name of an evil spirit formerly worshipped by a cult of mystical anarchist philosophers in Late Antiquity.

Venlafaxine – Foppish noble snob- female or male.  Insists that name must always be preceded by elaborate, long-winded title when addressed or spoken about.

Mebicar – An ogre.  Another wizard name.  Another city-state, maybe the antagonist vs. the PC’s hometown.

Selank – I love obscure Russian pharmaceutical names!  This sounds like a prison cell door sliding into place and locking, or a heavy sword pulled out of its sheath and hefted onto a rusted metal table.  The commandant of an orc guard tower in the Borderlands.  Or a tough, rebellious, disinherited noblewoman, the former Lady Selank, an excellent horsewoman and falconer. 

Buspar – Kind of an annoying sound to this name- it would be a square peg to fit into a campaign world of carefully chosen names.   It sounds like a European gas station chain with a slick logo.  But it could be a forest kingdom of tough, portly people, human or not-completely-human, who wear metal-studded leather armor and carry cudgels:  “The rude subjects of Radahast, King of Buspar, are known as Busparts.”  Make sure to pronounce it BOO-sss-par and not BUS-par, so that people don’t associate the name with the Metro Transit Authority and its prosaic vehicles of the 20th and 21st centuries.

Sediel- Sounds like an angel, or a fallen angel, or one of the Nephilim. Could be an elf, or the spirit of a forest stream, too.

Ectris – A sorcerer or sorceress. A sadistically cruel minor noblewoman.  A telekinetic alien.

Girosa – Bustling mercantile city-state.  Inhabitants are famed for their sometimes-inappropriate jollity,  heavy drinking, rubicund faces, and culturally-ingrained frequent loud belly-laughing habits. 

Rotigotine – This should be an adjective describing something ornate and intricate - “The parading guardsmen carried masterpiece silver-chased rotigotine 17-point guisarme-voulges which glinted in the sun.”  Jorge Luis Borges would have had a field day with this drug name list.

Piribedil- Promising young page attached to the Court.  Or maybe a Court Sage who is both cited in matters dealing with magical research, and consulted for all the juiciest gossip. 

Talipexole – A seaside village near Puerto Vallarta overrun with German scuba tourists. Or Is this an M.A.R. Barker kind of name for an NPC? I don’t really know much about Empire of the Petal Throne.

SECOND Time Playing D&D After 24 Year Drought

So I got to play D&D again!   I had mentioned the Dumbarton Oaks Byzantine inspiration I was feeling earlier.  I was also strongly inspired by this great book by badass Oxford professor emeritus Chris Wickham- The Inheritance of Rome: Illuminating the Dark Ages 400-1000

This was back in May 2016, but I didn't write down the experience until now.

The people (names have been changed to protect the innocent):
Mehitabel- 40s, cartographer, never played D&D before- played Evdokia (Fighter 2)
Antonin- 40s, lab scientist, openly displayed '70s AD&D Monster Manual in living room, hadn't played since 1980s - played Mithridates, the tomb-raider (Thief 2)
Zahra- 40s, teacher, had never played D&D before, married to Antonin - played Kreka the Calamitous (Fighter 2)
Isobel - 40s, artist, had played for the first time in 2010 at our house - played Veleda the Seeress (MU 1)

Material components (besides what would be expected):
Fancy cheeses, fruit, beer, wine, pop, LaCroix "Green Water"
Clean mini-notepads
Factory-sharpened pencils
Big cubes of naturally-occurring metal I had painted dice pips on - The "Iron Dice"
Color-printed pictures
Large-format printed map
Plastic Times Roman Font bronze-tone wall letters from a craft store
Excerpts from "The Book": Brief Antiquarian Notes
DM screen from a Tangerine Dream Alpha Centauri orig. 1971/Atem orig. 1973 double album cover

Guiding principles and best practices:
Everybody at the table should have fun
Motivations should reach through to the players, not just their characters
Pictures will be shown when possible
Traps, secret doors will be found in the pictures by players, not die rolls
Player choice is a positive goal
When players want to do something weird, but cool, I should try to incorporate their ideas into the imagined world
The "Iron Dice" are to be used for dramatically heavy damage, weighty consequences, etc.

We played the Statues adventure that I wrote:


I tried to apply lessons I learned from last time and also ideas I liked from reading blogs like tenfootpole.org, falsemachine.blogspot.com, and Against The Wicked City
(The Against the Wicked City link is to a newer post than one which would have inspired this adventure, but I'm linking to it because it is my new favorite on that blog)

So I didn't make the players read tedious expositional background flavor sheets.
I didn't make them spend time rolling up characters either.

I gave them a sheet from which to choose pre-rolled characters with names and histories and  equipment.  I told people they could change the names, the genders, the histories, but not the stats or the equipment.  It turned out nobody wanted to change the names, histories, etc.

The PCs started in a tavern courtyard (yeah, cliched - I know!) where they rolled as many times as they liked to eavesdrop or have someone bump into them, or witness an event.  If they wanted to engage further with the people involved with these things, they could do so, and then more information would be revealed. Almost everyone in this Constantinople stand-in city was abuzz, differently-motivated individuals and factions looking for copies of an old book, Brief Antiquarian Notes, which supposedly contained coded clues about where to find a great treasure and often contained a map. Meanwhile, organized crime and corruption were being found insinuating themselves into the government and Night Watch and people who opposed this were made to disappear.

Here come the (sort of) spoilers...

Some of the players were interested in planning a heist of the book from the house of an elderly bibliophile.  Other players ended up beating them to the punch by putting charm person on a lonely drunkard who helped them obtain a copy elsewhere first.

Zahra, the real-life Reading Teacher, had the great idea to read aloud the book excerpts the party had won, section by section, with each player reading a section and passing it to the next player.  Zahra was amused by the clue-filled story in the fictional book.  I was gratified that all the players pitted their minds toward figuring out the symbolism in the stories- and succeeded, for the most part.

Their characters marched (or sneaked) around the fictional version of Constantinople, Krysokeras, avoiding or playing off others who were either seeking The Book or who were reading it for references to statues around the city which were supposed to provide clues to finding the treasure.

The player who in real life is a professional cartographer really enjoyed the large-format map I had made.  The characters pulled off bronze letters from the statues. I gave the appropriate player a bronze-toned wall letter (or clusters of letters) if their character found a letter in the game. 

Above: The Second Statue, the Oracle

Instead of having to find ALL the statues and take off ALL the letters from the statues, the cartographer player kept looking at the map and scrambling and unscrambling the letters obtained so far.  She spelled out most of a word in Latin (a word which is pretty close to an English word) in the craft store letters.  She had seen a similar word on the map and had her PC try to convince the party to go to that place on the map.

So far, so awesome!  The successfully-convinced party made its way to a sprawling asphodel-, ruin-, and stray-cat-filled lot. Kreka the Calamitous made an incautious advance near precariously-balanced pillars and was tragically smushed.  I encouraged her to make cool or banal last words, and she choose the latter: "Ugh!  Why me?" then she gurgled and went silent.  Isobel, the performance artist with story-gaming tendencies, informed the table that Veleda the Seeress was still receiving psychic messages from Kreka.  This turned out just fine.  It was fun and funny for everyone at the table.  I'm glad that I was able to roll with this unexpected (but fitting with in-game logic) development and not squelch Isobel's creativity.

If I had been thinking on my feet, I might have passed folded-up scraps of paper with true or false concepts to Zahra/Kreka for her to rewrite (alter, embellish, obscure - if she wanted) and pass them along to Isobel/Veleda.  But the phenomenon was enjoyable and was not excessive without that.  Zahra was able to feel included in the game even if her character was physically out of commission.

The party avoided criminals and additional unsafe ruins and found a broken spiral staircase leading down into a huge, echoing, wet, dark basement chamber full of tall, not-always-intact, pillars and varying depths of malodorous water everywhere.  They found shallow poling-boats drawn up on a sort of beach. They pulled themselves along in the dripping, echoing, dark with poles and spears, disturbing nests of hissing eels in the water, but managed to avoid being bitten.  The party is disturbed to smell, see, and have their boat bump into, countless human remains in the water.

Thousands of echoing whispers hissed through the chamber from every direction, begging for a proper burial on the surface. When Veleda and the party intoned a solemn promise that they would find a way to bury everyone properly in the sunlight, the whispers transformed into a crescendoing hum.  Glowing orbs emerged from thousands of bodies in this underground chamber, flew southeast, illuminating a huge brick wall and a gaping crack in it, and disappeared.

They pilot the boat through the gaping hole in the brick wall that seems to be one side of the enormous partly-water-filled subterranean room.  After a short while, the party pulls the boat up to a beach.

Antonin saw a secret door in a photoshopped picture I showed the party.  The party followed a tunnel past certain ominous clues to a floor inlaid with a minotaur and labyrinth:

The picture is something I made with the poor man's Photoshop, MS Paint, blending together images I harvested from Wikimedia Commons and images.google.com.  Like Tomb of Horrors, the DM is supposed to show pictures from the Picture Appendix of the adventure. 

One of my house rules:  Players are usually supposed to find secret doors, avoid traps, or figure out puzzles for their characters by looking at these pictures, not by rolling dice. 

The pictures are printed larger onto paper for gaming table use than I'm showing in this blog, although you can embiggen the picture and try your luck.  

The ceiling has deep gouges which disappear into darkness.  There are 7 squarish wooden pillars which are embedded in the wall and run from the floor to the ceiling. There are 3 similarly sturdy looking pieces of lumber which look like they just resting against the wall atop the 3 inch wide stone ledge on the left side of the corridor (paralleled by another 3 inch wide stone ledge on the opposite side of the corridor).  On the floor is a mosaic of a labyrinth complete with a picture of a minotaur.  It looks like a human adult could carefully step along the mosaic maze and get to the far end of the corridor.

Can you guess which actions would trip the trap?

Mithridates the thief tripped the trap, made a saving throw vs. poison so that he didn't die immediately, but failed a second saving throw and ran tripping bawlz back into the room with the corpses and hissing eels, where he went down screaming, bitten by dozens of hissing eels boiling the water he was splashing around in.  Prokopios, an amiable NPC, was standing close to Mithridates when the trap was sprung, lost a saving throw, and fell, poisoned.  The other characters avoided interacting with the area in the same way as Mithridates and Prokopios; they were cautious in the trap area and avoided problems.

The party then broke down a door into a treasure room which contained not only difficult-to-sell, difficult-to-dispose of treasure items stored by organized crimelords, but also damning proof of some of their crimes.


The surviving characters would have had to figure out how to fence the treasure items successfully or give them as evidence to the non-corrupt parts of the government or get them to mysterious "collectors".  

There were assassins being sheltered elsewhere in the cistern complex - would the party run into them?

And, importantly, Veleda and the other party members had promised to properly bury the bodies dumped in the old cistern.  They had been rewarded with the vision of the thousands of glowing orbs which led them to the chamber with the treasure and the documentation of the crimes committed.  What consequences would result if this massive undertaking was not completed in a timely manner? 

How could the party do this?  Could some of the treasure pay for laborers to remove and bury the bodies?  Could the party enlist the help of the less-corrupt branch of the city's soldiery?  Could the party get some of the boisterous novice monks they met in the tavern to haul out the bodies and perform last rites for the sake of piety and unlimited wine?  Could the party dig holes in the roof of the old cistern to admit sunlight, perform a mass funeral and THEN collapse massive amounts of earth into the cistern?  Would that qualify as proper burial?

We could have continued playing but middle-aged people have to sleep and/or live their middle-aged lives.  No 24-hour D&D games like when we were adolescents.  That's OK.  We had a lot of fun.  It was great to hang out with my friends and do something out of the ordinary.  They said it was fun to walk around and play with stuff inside of my weird mind.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Words or names I love for their sound:

Peregrine, passerine, Cistercian, sessile, snouts, Sojourner, incunabula, ascension, descent, descending, illustrious, cerebral, crescent, magnificent, maximal, optometry, mechatronics, television, portico, sphere, hemispherical, enchanted, enchantress, sorceress, huntress, imperatrix, scathing, razor, rotor, Roto-Rooter, pendulous, pendant, Thunder Monkey, pepper, Pepperdine, pepperbox, pepperminty, deleterious, detrimental, dendritic, rhododendron, Excelsior!, Vespers, vespertine, updo, incandescent, in flagrante delicto

šmirnc (Czech slang: moxie, appeal, attractiveness), vepředu (Czech: in the front), hřbitov (Czech: cemetery), bublinky (Czech: little bubbles), bez bublinek (Czech: without carbonation), bublifuk (Czech: bubble-blowing solution), poklop (Czech: lid - Inexplicably the name of a very unhip clothing store that had nothing to do with hats in early '90s Nusle, Prague, Czech Republic), pašbá (Czech: bacchanalian party) šuplík (Czech: drawer), veselká (Czech: cheerful, happy occasion), velejemny (Czech advertising portmanteau: greatly mild), bumbrliček (Czech slang: bumblebee, fat kid), večerníček (Czech: evening "bedtime story" cartoons), večeřit (Czech: to have dinner), večeřnice (Czech: vespers), chřipka (Czech: the flu), Pozdrav Pambůh (Czech colloquial: "Bless you!"), Říp, Vlasta, Deminka, Divoká Šárka

Das Plusquamperfekt (German: the pluperfect tense), von Hohenlohe, Freiburg im Breisgau, Vorarlberger, Ottakringer, vermeiden (German: to avoid), zerstört (German: destroyed)

Recuerdos (Spanish: memories), soledad (Spanish: solitude)

Amharic people's names: Melkamu, Meskerem, Aselefech
Holidays: Fasika (Easter)
Foods: Minchetabish (sounds like it could be a portly, conniving merchant's name, or a little girl, or the bustling trading city at the end of a long, dusty caravan route)

Somali city names: Jigjiga, Bosaso, Las Anod 
Ayeeyo (grandmother), Awoowe (grandfather)
OK.  It's pretty close to the longest day of the year and I can't sleep.

Here is some not-really-game-related content:

I love words.  Or at least I love some words.

There are some words that are ugly and irritating to me.  Some words rub my fur the wrong way because they have ugly meanings or because people are over-using them or shoving them into grammar constructions that are awkward.

But some words I just hate the sound of, regardless of the meaning.

Moist.

Flushable.

Wipes.

That's pretty much the trifecta of gross-sounding words, which I saw on the package of a baby product.

Tardy.

Extruded. 

Clogged.

Clotted.

das Etui, die Etuis (German- the tissue, the tissues)

Pressies (British English slang for "presents")

Thobe (a North African and Arabian-area article of clothing for men- "Dishdasha" sounds so much better!)

Duh! Doy! It-Doy! (Using these interjections is a double-edged sword which can discredit the user as much as the hearers)

Chum.  Chumbucket. Shunt.  (These are some words which sound like they are obscene, even though they can be aired safely during the TV broadcasting "watershed" hours- See also "matriculate", "masticate", "scintillating", "succulent" - "Shunt" sounds like two dirty words which shtupped with great force and succulence and extruded a perfectly cromulent word you can use at a railroad yard)

Squelch (Speaking of vaguely dirty onomatopoeia...)

Integrous (People should say: "This company has integrity," rather than: "This company is integrous." - It might be a rarely used but correct adjective, but when used, it gives a nails-on-chalkboard feeling to listeners who aren't dead inside)


Penile (Slightly worse than "penal" and "puerile" and "senile"- There's nothing at all wrong with the sound of "crocodile," though)